My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
