I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm like, not good at living.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
