I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
