belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
