Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
