She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize