YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
