This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
