Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
