You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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