Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
