I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
