I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
