Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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