Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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