Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
