he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
