No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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