i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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