Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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