So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
