porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
