i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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