I cut my penus on the lid.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
