Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize