You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
