I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
porn star boner night. come get it.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
