Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
...so i touched it.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
