Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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