so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
