dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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