saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
