what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
