Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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