the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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