I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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