I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
