Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize