the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
