he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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