mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
