We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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