I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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