The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
