very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
