I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
