Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
