Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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