i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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