They should really pass out barf bags in church
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
