Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize