I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize