didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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