I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
