Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
