yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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