Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
