The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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