he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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