We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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