I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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