NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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